Too Much Heaven: Elvis Crespo’s Suavemente Video

After a few bevies, we all hit the floor feeling like seasoned pros to dance to the club classic Suavemente, but have you ever seen the video? While having a little dance party in my chair today at work, I stumbled upon this hilarious piece of video gold. It’s like stepping into an early 90s dance party! Satin shirts, low ponytails, plastic pants, Chola-style lipstick, bralets, Matrix style sunglasses…there’s too much heaven in this video to simply describe.
The heavy reliance on a green screen to create the beach paradise shots are completely unexplainable…why not head to the actual beach?! Pure magic.

The Pep Squad: Peplum Tops

Spotted all over the runway for Spring 2012 (Celine, Jason Wu, Dries), put some adorable pep in your step with a flippy peplum top. Team with a pencil skirt or cigarette pants for the office, or shorts and ankle strap heels for drinks out, for a flirty, feminine and fun look.

Styling Tip: The peplum IS the look. With this piece, it’s all about porportions. Skip the statement necklace and let the top take centre stage for ultimate impact.

 

Runway: Jason Wu, Spring 2012

Jason Wu Spring 2012

Jason Wu

 

Realway

Zara Lace Peplum $59.90

 

JCrew Peplum

 
 
 

Not a Day Over 45: Lindsay Lohan “Poses” for Terry Richardson

Photos from Lindsay Lohan’s ”photo shoot” by top creep Terry Richardson have been leaked. The spread was done at Lohan’s temporary home base at her Chateau Marmot suite. To call this a fashion shoot is a stretch.

 We all know that Lindsay left the door open a crack for Uncle Terry (she calls all her John’s “Uncle”…) who simply snapped away while she attempted to make herself look decent. The whole thing just reeks of truck stop desperation. The Lolita-esque heart-shaped sunnies aren’t adding to her long-gone innocence. You almost expect to see a heart-shaped tub in the corner, with a dish of full of shiny quarters to pop into the motorized bed when Terry turns on the video camera.

The sad part is, this is her reality!

 
 
 

lohan

 
 

lohan

 
 

lohan

 

Shorty-Long-Back: Long Tailed Dresses

Every now and again, a new silhouette flashes on the fashion radar. I’ve dubbed this dress style the Shorty-Long-Back, as it’s the garment equivalent to the mullet. This is a good thing! There’s nothing fresher than options, and this number yields plenty.

Business in the front, wild ass party in the back! And best part about this flowing number? It’s flattering on every figure. Consider it fashion’s peace-offering for tireless seasons of second-skin Herve Ledger.

 

Asos

 

BCBG, $178

 
 

Zara, $119

H&M Spring 2012 Collection

Although us hoosiers have been very blessed with the mildest winter I can ever recall (proof= Sorels have yet to leave my closet…) I can’t help getting excited for H&M Spring 2012 collection. Certain tones are strong, but the colours are washed or transparent, giving the collection an airy and light feeling, with a definite sporty edge. Top marks to H&M for transforming the pastel Creeper into a feminine shoe, devoid of the honky Rockabilly edge. Below are my top picks.

 

Washed-Blue Suede Kimono Wrap Dress

H&M Spring

 

Sheer Acid Yellow Dress

H&M Spring 2012

 
 
Creeper
 

H&M Spring 2012

 
 

What’s Up Doc! Rachel Bilson Raps

“Lab coat-Dolce. Clipboard- Prada. Vera Wang short shorts, nametag- Doctor!”. Need I say more? Fashion darling Rachel Bilson spits serious rhymes in this hilarious rap video for Funny or Die.

“Jealous tricks- suck a tit, get a pap smear with an oven mitt- BITCH!”. Who knew little Summer Roberts had it in her? I’m in love.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d31d8fc05d/call-me-doctor-with-rachel-bilson?rel=player

Hell Hath a Name: Bikini in January

After weeks of holiday indulgence, stepping into the change room to shop for a vacation bikini feels like a criminal investigation, and the spotlight -fluorescent, blinding and oh-so unflattering- is on you, baby. Rum n’ eggnog? Guilty! Shortbread cookies? Guilty! Stuffing? Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Top that off with blindly white skin and skipped workouts and you got a recipe to turn any self-respecting woman into a desperate feign.
Advice? Read and repeat: “Don’t like? DON’T LOOK!.” There’s always going to be someone who shamelessly bares all during a rousing game of beach volleyball- let her take the spotlight! It’s not considered bad karma. A girl must muster as much confidence as possible when completely pantless. Know this, and tread lightly with the following tips:

Faux Glow: Tanning beds are so passe. Over time, tanning breaks down the elasticity of your skin, creating a host of additional problems (cellulite, broken capillaries, age spots). If you simply can’t stand the thought of hitting the beach without a glow, go faux with a spray tan.

Apply SPF: As tempting as it is to escape the winter doldrums with gusto, hitting the beach on Day 1 slicked with Hawaiian Tropic Oil is not wise- unless you like your Canadian bacon extra crispy, swathed in layers of gauze.

Pedi those Piggies: Nobody wants to see your narst, scraggly yellow toe nails. Hit the salon for a $20 pedicure, and please, for the love of God, no toenails should extend over the skin. Painted or not, long toenails are straight up disgusting.

Indulge and Enjoy: Hit the beach bar and buffet with reckless abandon- you’re here for a good time, not a long time! Woooooooooooooooo!!